I'm in the process of doing a big post and thought I'd post this one in the meantime, just for fun. It's a post about perspective:
How I Finally Taught the Big Guy a Lesson
I did not provoke the fight, so I feel no remorse for what I was forced to do. We were arguing, and since I was right and he was wrong, he decided to fight to cover his stupidity.
He swung at me first, but because I was in top physical condition, I was able to act quickly and block the punch neatly with my head.
I then jumped to the ground, knocking him down on top of me. I placed my ear in his mouth and poked his finger several times with my eye.
His teeth hurt so much from the strength of my ear that he became irate and tried to kick me, but I cleverly blocked the onslaught with my ribs and face.
I got to my feet and ran to my car in hopes I would get away and save that wimp from my deadly hands, but before I could start the car he pulled me from the still open door. It was obvious this guy needed to be taught a lesson and that was the final straw—I lost all control. I showed no mercy!!
Taking him in my death grip, I pounded him in the knee with my stomach—then I hit him two or three times in the fist with my teeth. He'd had it! I could tell. I laid there as still as I could, just waiting for him to try something else, but he didn’t even try to pick me up off the ground. He was just too chicken.